The Single Most Overlooked Sign of a Great Leader
by Brent Roy, MCC
As an executive coach, I spend my days in conversation with leaders from around the world. We discuss strategy, team dynamics, career transitions, and the pressures of modern leadership. But recently, a simple, two-second interaction in a coaching session reminded me of a truth that underpins all of this: the most impactful acts of leadership are often the smallest.
The majority of our interactions are online these days, and it’s easy to let the human element slip. We can become focused on the agenda, the technology, and the outcomes, sometimes forgetting the person on the other side of the screen. But people still value and appreciate kindness, and a tiny bit of effort can make a huge difference.
Recently, I was preparing for an initial session with a new client, an individual who had moved to Canada from a Middle Eastern country some years ago. As I looked at his name, I recognized that if I were to pronounce it using standard English phonetics, I would likely get it wrong. It’s a situation I encounter frequently in my work with a global clientele.
As a rule, I take special care to search an online name pronunciation guide beforehand. It’s a simple step, a thirty-second investment of my time. In this case, I found the correct pronunciation, and it was indeed quite different from how it appeared.
When I opened our initial Zoom session, I greeted him and said, “I want to make sure I’m pronouncing your name correctly. Is it…?”
I then stated his name as I had practiced. The effect was instantaneous. He smiled—not just a polite “hello” smile, but a broad, genuine beam of light—and exclaimed, “Of all the years I’ve lived here, you’re the first person to pronounce my name properly. Well done!”
In that moment, before we had even begun to discuss his goals, a foundation of trust and respect was built. He felt seen, and I was reminded of a powerful lesson.
Your Name Is Your Identity
A person’s name is the cornerstone of their identity. It is, as Dale Carnegie said, “the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Yet, for many people, especially those with names that are unfamiliar in a Western context, hearing their name mispronounced is a common and dispiriting experience.
Saying a name correctly is a small effort that signals great respect.A 2022 study published in MedEdPORTAL titled “Say My Name” frames this perfectly. The authors note that the chronic mispronunciation of names can be experienced as a microaggression. It can make people feel marginalized, disrespected, and like an outsider. It subtly communicates that you are not “one of us” or that your identity isn’t worth the effort to get right.
For a leader or a coach, whose entire role is to empower and validate others, getting a name right isn’t just a courtesy; it’s a critical demonstration of Emotional Intelligence. It signals respect, inclusion, and a genuine interest in the individual.
The Ripple Effect of a Simple Effort
That moment with my client set the tone for our entire coaching relationship. He entered our work feeling valued, which allowed for a deeper level of openness and psychological safety from the very start.
Think about the opposite. When someone in a position of authority repeatedly mispronounces a team member’s name, it sends a clear message: “You are not important enough for me to remember.” It creates a small wound that, over time, can lead to disengagement and a feeling of being invisible.
In our increasingly global and remote workplaces, where we have fewer in-person cues to build rapport, these small, intentional acts of respect are more vital than ever. They are the threads that weave a culture of belonging.
Three Simple Ways to Get It Right
This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing you care enough to try. It’s a skill every leader can, and should, develop.
- Do Your Homework. Just as you’d prepare for a meeting by reviewing a report, take 30 seconds to prepare for the person. Many online name pronunciation guides (like NameShouts) exist. On LinkedIn, you can often find an audio recording of a person saying their own name—a feature I use often.
- Ask Directly and Humbly. If you’re unsure, just ask. The simple phrase, “I want to be sure I’m saying your name correctly, could you please pronounce it for me?” is a sign of respect, not ignorance. People are rarely, if ever, offended when you show you care enough to ask. It demonstrates that you value them and want to Communicate Clearly & Directly.
- If You Fumble, Correct It and Move On. Made a mistake? Don’t make a scene. Simply say, “I’m sorry, it’s [correct pronunciation], right? Thank you.” A quick, graceful correction is far better than ignoring the mistake or, worse, avoiding using their name altogether.
In the end, leadership isn’t just about the big decisions and grand visions. It’s about the daily, human-to-human interactions that show your team who you are and what you value. Taking the time to say someone’s name correctly is a small investment with an immeasurable return. It’s how you show people they matter. And that might be the most powerful leadership tool of all.
About Brent Roy, MCC
Brent Roy is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC)—a designation held by fewer than 5% of ICF-credentialed coaches and the only MCC in New Brunswick, Canada. With 30+ years in communications and leadership, he coaches senior leaders and mentors aspiring ICF coaches globally from Fredericton.
Ready to elevate your leadership and build a culture of respect? The smallest changes often make the biggest impact. Let’s discuss how you can lead with more intention and influence. Book your complimentary discovery call today.
