How To Ask For What You Need at Work (And Actually Get it)

by Brent Roy, MCC

Want to get what you need in relationships and at work? Often, it’s as simple as asking. And yet, so many of us don’t ask for what we want.

A reluctance to ask is nothing new. James, in the Bible, wrote, “You do not have because you do not ask.” (James 4:2)

Better to Ask for What You Need Than Assume

It’s a familiar story in today’s workplace and in our relationships outside of work. Instead of asking for what we want, we assume…

• our boss knows we’re ready for more responsibility.
• our partner should “just know” what we need.
• that if we were truly valued, we wouldn’t have to ask.

Somehow, it feels safer to cling to those assumptions than to face the discomfort of a direct ask.

On the other hand, asking for what you need can make you feel like you’re being too direct. You might worry about coming off as demanding or ungrateful.

But if you want something badly enough, feel the fear and ask anyway.

Think Through How to Ask

To increase your chances of getting what you want, it’s important to think your request through. This is especially true if what you’re asking for is significant or high‑stakes.

For example, do you want to:

• Pitch a promotion to your boss?
• Ask for more money?
• Propose working fully remotely?
• Suggest creating a brand‑new position on your team?

For now, let’s focus on one scenario: asking for a promotion.

Ten Ways to Prepare for and Present a Big Ask at Work

Here are ten practical ways to set yourself up for success when you’re ready to ask for a promotion:

Clarify exactly what your asking for

Be specific. What title, scope of responsibility, or salary range are you seeking? Vague requests lead to vague outcomes.

Connect your ask to business needs

Frame your request around how the promotion will benefit the organization, not just you. What problems will you solve? What goals will you help the team or company achieve?

Document your impact

Come prepared with concrete examples of your contributions: projects you’ve led, revenue you’ve helped generate, efficiencies you’ve created, or client feedback you’ve received. Numbers speak loudly..

Understand the timing 

Consider the broader context. Is your company in a hiring freeze? Has your manager just gone through a stressful period? You can still ask—but being sensitive to timing helps your request land better.

Know your market value

Do a bit of research on typical compensation and responsibilities for the role you want. This helps you make a grounded, confident request rather than a shot in the dark.

Rehearse the conversation

Practice out loud. Say what you want to say to a trusted friend, coach, video record yourself or even practice in front of a mirror. The more you hear yourself ask, the less intimidating it becomes.

Anticipate Objections

Think through what concerns your boss might raise: budget, timing, your readiness, or team dynamics. Prepare thoughtful, calm responses ahead of time..

Ask clearly and directly

When the time comes, don’t bury your request in small talk. Get to the point: “I’d like to talk about the possibility of a promotion to [role] based on the contributions I’ve made over the past year.” Consider also bridging to the future, focusing on what you will bring to the role and how it will positively impact the company.

• • If you’ve recently stepped into leadership, you may also be wondering how to be effective without alienating your former peers. This post on how to prevent everyone from hating you when you go from coworker to boss can help.

Stay open to dialogue

Your manager may say yes, no, or “not yet.” Stay curious. Ask what they would need to see from you to make a promotion possible, and by when. This turns a “no” into a roadmap.

Will it take away some of their pressure? Will it meet a bigger corporate objective more quickly?

Decide what you’ll do with the answer

Before you ask, be honest with yourself: What will you do if the answer is no—or if nothing changes after a reasonable time? Having clarity about your next steps gives you power, regardless of the outcome.

When You Ask, You Lead Your Own Career

Now, that wasn’t so hard! The next time you’re in assumption mode, take control of the situation. Just because you’re doing great work doesn’t mean a promotion will fall into your lap. When you advocate for yourself, you’re much more likely to be successful.

• • If you’re worried about missteps on the way up, here’s how to prevent making big mistakes in your career.

As the Stones once sang, “You can’t always get what you want” but…you just might find you get what you need. At the very least, you’ll know where you stand. So, what are you waiting for? 

About Brent Roy

Brent Roy, MCC, CMC, is an ICF‑certified executive, career, and personal development coach who spends his days helping professionals and executives do exactly what this article is about: ask for what they really want at work—and then back it up with the confidence and presence to earn it.

Over the years, Brent has coached men and women in transition: high performers who feel overlooked for promotion, new leaders struggling to find their voice, and seasoned professionals wondering if it’s too late to make a change. A common thread runs through all of them: they’ve been quietly hoping someone would notice their value instead of clearly asking for what they need.

Brent helps clients:

• Build the confidence to have direct, courageous conversations
• Increase their executive presence so decision‑makers take them seriously
• Clarify the future they want—and create a practical plan to move toward it

If you’re ready to stop waiting for your next opportunity to magically appear and start asking for it with clarity and courage, Brent would love to talk.

You can reach out here to start the conversation.

I originally wrote this article for YourTango. It was published December 19, 2022 as “How To Get Exactly What You Need At Work”  and on MSN. I published it here on December 27, 2022 and refreshed the original content on December 20, 2025